It’s just… out in the open is probably not the best place to be doing it.”He hung his head again, and Melinda berated herself mentally. She wasn’t doing a very good job of comforting him.“Sorry, I’m not very good at this,” she said, sighing. “You kind of startled me, that’s all. I wasn’t expecting to see you down there, doing that, when I woke up this morning.” He was still silent, so she decided to go a different direction. Smiling coyly, she gently elbowed him on the arm, looking at him from the corner of her eye. “Besides, you REALLY don’t have anything to be ashamed about.”He still looked mortified, but a small grin appeared on his lips.“THERE’S that smile,” she said, giggling as they went up the stairs to her house. She opened the door and he followed her inside.“Go ahead and sit down on the couch and I’ll get you some water, okay? It looks like you need to cool down.” As Melinda headed to the kitchen to get the drink, Brian spoke.“I really am sorry. It’s just sometimes I can’t. I look out the window to catch a glimpse of my own reflection in the day's fading light and open my face up into a smile. I read somewhere if you are happy enough to smile when no one is watching, you must really mean it. Someone is watching me today. Blue eyes from the back seat makes me self conscious. A colleague told me I looked like a nurse earlier, my work shirt is blue and white check. It accentuates my breasts and I don't mind that it brings to mind a uniform. I've left the morgue and I like to pretend I have been at an office, working somewhere that smells less like disinfectant and has a view, preferably of water and trees. Blue eyes focused in my direction cause the hairs on the back of my neck to tingle. A few delicious minutes pass by. I shift in my seat, watch members of the geriatric community pick their way carefully down the aisle and out into the strange, suspended, autumnal sunset on the street, their large, practical handbags held with purpose under fleshy,.
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